The Trumpets Play At Night

Where are my horns?
I've been a bad boy,
So now I need a bad song...

Trumpets sound as the moonlight plays,
Strings floating to the moon lit way,

Lifted,
There's nothing left to say,

What do I need to say?
What is there to say?
When we talk without words.

Your lips are answering,
So I take it you heard.
I take it you heard.
I take it.

*Trumpets Playing*

I turn off the lights,
Cause to be real,
I don't need to see,
I just want to feel.

Biological warmth,
Fluid exchange.

Stop thinking so much, you're going insane.

Darkness and steam,
Dulls the eyes, Strengthens the senses.

Rub and squeeze between,
Warm water drops,
He swings and he misses,

You smile,
And exhale between sucking kisses.

You got my attention,
Now I'm listening.
And just like that you've gone,
This is my life's cruelest song.

My fingertips cant tickle your spine,
Because all of this, is in my mind.

You aren't here like I want you to be,
Because you actually aren't speaking to me.

I wonder should I swallow my pride,
And set a course to where you reside...

And the trumpets play...

On Purpose

Breathe,

The creator,
The innovator,
The originator,

I am.

Imagine,
Narrate.

The artist,
The dreamer.

I wonder if I am discovering,
Or if I am returning.

Gasping the wind, freeing it and guiding it.

Action moving the story forward/

Be the story,
Don't allow the story to be you...

Narrate your own life...

Create/originate the life you've always wanted...

...All without fear...
And complete control over one's self.

Creation face to face with creator...
The creation lives just as you do....

Everything, every word, pause, beat,...

Purpose,
On purpose

All live, all lives...

Fall of Me

I can't save you.
And you can't save me.
Just a fucked up kid,
Hiding behind a rock or tree.

I was born alone.
I don't know where I'll die.
But as long as I've lived,
I've lived a lie.

My memories are cursed,
With so much pain.
They remind me of what I'm not.
So much disdain.

I don't wish them away,
I want them to stay.
When I think about you,
I have so much to say.

Scared to be kissed,
Scared to be loved,
A murderers hand,
In a soft silk glove.

I just want to know why,
Why am I here?
Why all the pain?
Why all the fear?

So critical,
So judgmental,
All to protect myself,
But life is so simple.

How can I ascend,
The trivialities of men,
Can I cast the needless aside,
And finally begin?

Deemed Creative

Social, social,
Sociable.

Who determines creativity?

I think of the bonds between us.

Maybe creativity is a social happening.

Maybe it must be acknowledged by others and deemed creative.

The people must judge the creation?

Wow, who are we?

Need to open my consciousness.

Merge my subconscious with my consciousness...

We all need to talk.

Answers allude me,
Like an agile child playing freeze tag.

Maybe my childhood had the answer.

Maybe I haven't thought the question through.

This is what happens when you ask kids,
Can you feel my sincerity?
Can you sense my validity?

Will you prepare the scales to measure?

his is something I must make more intentional.

A special something made more sensual.

There is no way around the long hours.

No way.

Maybe you will find yourself along the way.

I just don't want to waste more time,
Than I need to,
No wasted movement...

Decisions...

Maybe we must endure time in order to,
Become, what we are...

Irony is being born with and expressive nature,

Yet always so afraid to express...

The pen is slower than the mind.

Key strokes?
Streaming consciousness.

As long as it flows...

Welp, pizza it is...

Man on Fire

Teaching fire to pace itself,
Er-myself...
So that I don't burn out...

Agony,
Seeking of alternate source...

Fire needs patience.

Note-to-self: Do not consume too fast...

Mental Note-to-self: A man on fire shouldn't write on paper.

Ramblings of Partial Slumber

Not enslaved by my own form,

I guess I,
Should just be,
Or change what I believe about me,

I wonder what will it take to unlock me,

When will I ever let go of the fear I have of me?

And all my untamed strength?

I am not, afraid of you.

What I fear is crushing you in my strength,

And yet somehow I do need to let go...

It's important to me, to see all that I could be.
And all I will be.

Cannot be afraid, of you sitting in my way.

If my destiny is inferno, then I can't hold back the flame...

Can you believe in God, beyond your Judgments of what is right and wrong?

Blank Pages

The most important book I have,
Is this with blank pages.

Words inside, for all the ages.

To release what's inside to come to terms,

I wonder if I'll ever learn?

Maybe it will never matter,
Hell, I'm here,

All I can do is be sincere.

Status, ranking, hierarchy.

Divisions, classes, compart-me.

Like trying to dissect a rainbow,
Is purple trying to war against the yellow.

None more superior, but who's to judge?

But the blues and the indigos wont budge.

Why war when harmony is natural,
We should rock instead of trying to be statues.

My Own Words

You just never know.
Until you experience for yourself.
Then you can't say it.

So many words.

I have my own songs.

I will sing them.

It is this, I must.

I cannot silence.

Fire must burn.

Just as water must wet.

So I must write.

I want calm.
But the inferno rages.

The tempest grows unruly.

That's the worst thing about being on fire.

It takes someone special to touch you.

I need to focus the light into heat.

Having too many focuses diminishes clarity.

Just unsure of what to focus on anymore.

I just don't know.

What do I do with all this power?

Where can I let this go?

Accept

People are the same...

We have different stories.

Days blur together.

Who remembers?

Believe in lies.

People will still be people,

No use in judging,
We all live.
The world keeps turning.
Maybe bliss is the only stillness,
Or the ultimate.

In the Distance

Sometimes I laugh at myself,
I keep asking all these questions,

I'm compelled to do so,
But to what end?

Hahaha there's another question.
I suppose its just my nature.

I wonder if the answers will matter,
As much as the question did.
I don't know much of anything.

I may never know much of anything.

I think the trick is, making sure that...

One day at least, I'm ok with that.

When will life not be like this?
What should I expect?

Maybe I think too much,

I cannot say that I know what I want,
Except to understand my options.

I just want to go...
Somewhere...

Maybe where I can love and be loved,
Freely,
And unconditionally.

I find I have to fight for conditional love,
Then I realize,
That it was a waste of time.

Just want to feel what's real,
And not a temporary,
Substitute.

My Way

Delving into self-examination,
Self-actualization,
All talents are byproducts of lifestyle,

Maybe I'm parroting.

These words are not empty.

It seems this is my life and path,
To express myself on my behalf,

Protected from myself, And others,
Patterns made clear.

Maybe I can discover me,
Because I cannot discover "here",

That may be why I'm the only one,
Perhaps therein lies the fun...

Maybe I need a means of,
Providing theory with practice.

Practice refines theory,
Theory refines practice.

Where are my words?
My experiences?

What do I believe?
When I trust my instincts,
How can I be me?
Completely be, all of me?
Unapologetically,
But neither disrespectfully,

Sometimes life takes a little while,

At the end of the day I gotta do it my way,

I just need to understand my options,
What is walking this way, going to cost us?

The price of being me,
Honestly, how can I see?
When I dont know what to look for?

As long as I can accept.
Accept all I see.

Whether outward or subconsciously,

I am not an island.
I am meteor that floats in space.
Nor orbit to call my place.

And in that I'm free,
Wandering actually,
And all I get to see,
Floating by.

Everybody Swears

So many thoughts.
We need change within the people,
A game begins in my mind, the moment I see you.

It's in my nature to be vulnerable and expressive,
However, when I see you I retract and repress it.

Because life taught me how,

No reverence for human life, now.

I wouldn't say its that extreme,
I dream that love is everything the songs make it seem.

After which, I wonder if its all in our minds,
Fire burns on the frozen tundra that's inside.

Egos perpetuate,
Pride causing civil war,

Child support bombs blazing,
Daddy called Mommy "whore".

Or "slut-tramp-bitch",
"How the hell she gone tell my son that I aint shit?"

We see what we want,
It seems like it never ends,

But everybody swears they know what love is...

Love Unstructured

Chaos rubs the back of my head,
Before she slowly embraces me...

We hover,
We ascend,
We float into the tempestuous sky...

I whisper "help me let go, I can't live a lie"

She kisses my ear and sucks on my neck,
I open my eyes...
The earth underneath,
Is spinning,

No time, no end, no beginning...

I breathe in her scent,
The embers and aether,
She holds me close,
I gaze down beneath her.

She drives me to question all I thought I knew,

I do,
Not fear her and her power,
I ride the wave,
Allow myself to feel,
So I can be saved...

Saved from form,
Madness made mundane.

Assimilate chaos,
Formless and without pain.

Behold the Flowers

Even in distance, you are the ever closest glimpse of love...

Deep in the thorns and thistles, resides a rose.

I reach for you, though my life's blood I lose with sharp pains...

I think that...
I know it's not worth it,

How could it be?!!

I reach for empty beauty,
(Haha) My own desire hurteth me, however ironically...

Life leaks from vains,
All for vanity...

Only my reflection knows the answer.

We stare as if we know,
But we don't talk much,

I guess everyone has blemishes.
The very trees grow crooked.

When will it be enough to grow together?

Am I in awe of the wrong flowers?

Is it that my eyes forever behold, mine own pain?

It must be better to gaze into fire,
And the dancing seas,

Than to behold the flowers,
Amongst the trees...

No Gills

Show me the pool,
So I can delve in imaginings,

Sinking and floating,

Just enough to come up for air...

...sometimes I wonder...

Who needs air?

For now, I'll hold my breath,

Until I start seeing things...

Blistered Subconscious

I hate you, hate you, hate you!
I hate you, love you, I hate you!

I hate you becomes I love you.
I hate you because I love you.

And I hate you because I hate to,

Maybe I love you because I hate you,

Or maybe I see me.

How could I hate someone else,
Who is showing me myself?

How could I hate someone I am,
Used to, and destined to be?

How could loving you, teach me to love me?

Serious Matters

Laugh until the pain is funny.
Laugh with tears of milk and honey.

Laugh at this joke we call a dream.
Laugh until thrown stones turn to steam.

Laugh until there is nothing left to prove.
Laugh until the oceans quake and mountains move.

Laugh 'till the babies swim through space.
Laugh in the sun's smiling face.

I'll laugh until the comets bleed.
I'll laugh 'till we're chopped down by the trees.

I'll laugh at nonsense induced highs.
I'll laugh at hellos, until goodbyes.

Legal Tender: For All Debts, Public or Private

Money is the root of all evil I've seen.
Money is the reason.

Money is the reason we can't trust politicians,
Money is the reason,
The powers make corrupts decisions.

Money is why when you call,
I don't pick up the phone.

Money is why I'll never have a family,
Or home.

Money is the reason she married you.

Money is all your kids saw when they buried you.

Money is the reason I'll never go to church,
Love of God is priceless, the truth, it hurts.

Money is the motivation of scarcity.

Money is a factor of why all aren't free.

Money is the reason we don't respect the land,
Money is the nail that pierced my hand.

Money is why I feel, I'm better than you.

Money will never care what you did or do.

Money is why we live,
Money is why we die,
Money will eventually set fire to the sky.

you.

Don't know what to do with you.

Warmth-on-a-cold-day,
Sweet-in-a-bitter-world,
For reasons unknown,
Metamorphs into...
"Bear-trap-girl"

Current battle:
"Stay away from me"
VS
"gazing frostbitten window to see..."

you.

Maybe She'll Reconsider

My dreams of you,
They last too long.
My goodnight's lullaby,
And daytime song.

My tired eyes,
Thick with depress,
Your head will lie,
Far from my chest.

Often time,
Escape, from think.
By aspiration,
Of my next drink.

dang(er)

Soft hands and smirks,
They say all is fine,
A lifted eyebrow,
Says "You,
Are
Mine."

The mirror says,
It's all in your mind,
Bliss can be false,
Don't waste your time.

Life is surreal...


Death is sublime...

Sinking...

Struggling,
Quicksand,

Searching for a branch,
Rope.
Something.

Pleeeeeeeeeeease...

I cant do this...
Temptation...

Unsure if...
Temptress?
Maybe...

Play me?
Game me?

Is quicksand that clever?

Medusa.

Eyes.
Look right through me.

So softly,
Turn me into...

Petrified.

Yet I place her on a pedestal,

Siren.
Singing.
Sing me.
Closer...

Harmony,
I can't...

Bad.

This.
Will.
End.
Bad...

Medusa the Siren,
Stands on a rock in the midst,
Of quicksand.

Struggling,
Petrified,
Bad.

She is...
So...
Bad for me.

The Man Who Laughs To Himself

Somethings a man just,
Probably shouldn't see,
But if I hadn't saw,
Then I couldn't be me.

Things and time change,
Ideals,
Rearrange,
All that hasn't killed me,
Has only made me strange,

...And distant.
Something to add?
Well I missed it.

Trying to find the time,
To escape from my mind.

Must Find Broom

My life has become,
A floor covered in flower petals,

She loves me,
She loves me not.

I get bored with love,
Then I need it right on the spot.

Does it make me weaker or stronger,
I can never tell.

Money has made my love muddy.

What could stoke the fires,
In the cold heart of a man?

I just ponder what I really need.

Flannel Sheets

Her eyes,
They're just eyes,
And that's just a nose,
And those...

I suppose...
Are lips.

Why does she...
Do this,
To me?

But she doesn't,
(Ha) Cause logically...

It's all in my head.

All in my mind.

Still, Love's true value,
I'm trying to find.

unexpression

Ideas squandered,

And lost due to fear,

Stillborn from the mouth,

If only all could hear.

Her Name Is...

Emptiness,

Abyss.

Nothing left,

Only fear of death.

She begs nonverbally,

To be understood...

She sits so lonely,

Longing,

Staring out into that emptiness,

That abyss,

Her eyes whisper,

"will you too reject me?

Will you live...

To regret me?"

All she is, 

Is natural to you and to me,

The end of all, 

And yet we flee...

Myself Beside

Headache.

Talking to myself in circles.

Drunken with melancholy.

Face,

Head,

Neck,

Soul...

All itching.

Itching with anger,

Helplessness,

Fighting tears,

Fighting shards of tears,

That tear,

At my face.

Wish I was strong enough,

To throw a car into orbit.

Emotion,

Conflicting energy,

Leap like lightning from my forehead.

Just got some bad news.

No Space for Time

I just want to know the truth,
For myself.
I want to live true life,
Like there is nothing else.

There is no space for time,
And it will take eternity for truth to find.

Red Bath

So infinitesimal.

Down to the largest decimal.

I sit in the tub,

Relax under the red light.

Under dark night.

At least the water is warm...

I pause.

I am so thankful...

The water is warm.

Comfort.

But is that the point?

All is relative to one's comfort?

No one man is an island,

Yet can a man be a planet?

It makes sense to the masses,

To the religious,

And money classes.

But not to me.

My prayer is that,

This life learns to make more sense.

Because I'm bored.

And I've had enough of this.

Shattered Clarity

Like spiritual shards of glass,

Embedded into my skull,

I broke the ceiling of the truth...

But at what cost?

What is liberation's true price?

Is it the slavery to a cause?

Can a slave ever find fulfillment?

Can a slave ever find freedom?

Could someone help me...

Help me to clean up this glass?