Previous Razor Blades in Standing Water

I remember you.

I tried to be-friend,

Your insecurity chose to end,

Its funny how blind emotion and inse-cu-ri-ty,
Can guide us to what we want-to-see,

I dreamed of causing you a lot of pain,

You left believing I drowned in shame,

My only shame was never saying how I feel.

How I felt and feel now, the pain is real.

How can a man live with all he can't forget?
Not speaking up is my biggest regret.

Write or wrong,
Speak on what goes on inside,

Or just be quiet, and slowly die.

Between Heaven and Earth

Ultimate betrayal,

Pondering chauvinistic,
Cold deference to game.

Puppet master,
Ho does as ho told,

How does one turn ho cold?

And when did you become ho?
Maybe always,
Just refused to know.

Maybe back,

Recession make money-consciousness,

Assimilate heart,
Struggle,

Security or lack there-'in',
Causes even blood bonds to break,

Causes love my soul to hate,

And if I cry before I wake,
A stronger man, yet I shall make,

I stand.

Alone un-victim stained.
Purple bruises of mental pain,

Walk forward,
Cause that's all I can stand.

Boy-reach-out-and-take-man.

Wishful Thinking

I want to live,
Not just exist within my mind,

So afraid,
Want to know it'll be fine.

Or maybe more,
I just wish I didn't care.
And I want you to take me there...

Never There

Why can't I,
Stop thinking of a love,
Never there?

Mesmerized,
Made-up meaning,
Into illusions dare I stare,

Can't tell you what I hope to find,
But my search is all that keeps me alive...

Heat and Friction

I hate you because I miss you,

I wish,
I could find and kiss you. (corny, eh...stop judging yourself)

But now you've gone with someone else,

This is what you wanted huh?
For me to suffer huh? (says my ego...)

Well now I hate you  more,
I'm trying so hard to forget you, whore!

I want someone else.
But they're not you. (I should pick up a bag habit)

They don't touch me like you do.

But now I have to imagine you.
With someone new.

Some view...
Some new,
Guy touching you.

Taking your scent for granted.

'You and me' remind me life is not a fairy tale.

'Our' absence has made my life a personal hell.

I just want to see you here again.
I wonder what you represent?

I wish,
I could fill this hole up with something else,

But I sit here empty, by myself.

This is beyond beer or addiction.
This is more than heat and friction.

I just... I thought it was gonna be you...

But you can save me,
And I can't save me too.