All 12 Months

I used to dream.
Of holding you in my arms,
With my face in your neck,
Smelling your hair...

Listening to your soft voice,
And the way you would giggle...

Just to talk,
About nothing...

I often wonder, even now.
Wouldn't it be something,
To sit with you again,
And talk about nothing...

But I cannot be for you,
What you need me to...
Thought it's all I want to do.

I am,
Not that...

So the air carries away my flame,
Because your soul cries for heavy rains,
And I must live,
If it's all the same...

Such a shame.
If only the stars could feel my pain.

Smiling

I wonder if there is any direction?

Can anyone be direct?

Or is it all... misdirection?

Where do you go?

When you are in the middle of nowhere...

Drift into darkness?

Towards the light?

Assuming there is some.

Existence.

What is there to ponder if there is none?

What is there to think about,

When there is no thought?

Where is meaning when all is without meaning?

Where is the judgment when all is relative?

Solitary confinement,

In the prison of my thoughts.

They keep me out,

Out of the box.

My thoughts wont let me back in,

They wont allow me to return,

Yet alone.

Imprisoned by my intellectual freedom.

I smile at the thought.

"Why is the world like this?" I laugh to myself.

"Rather, why does the very nature of existence seem so contradictory?"

Maybe it is all a joke.

Maybe it all begins and ends with laughter.

In the beginning there was the "ha"

Like walking into an extravagant hotel and paying top-dollar for their best room...

A 4 by 5 closet.

Or watching an entire football team climb out of a mini cooper...

None of this makes sense...

And I think...

I'm ok with that.

*smiling*

Turn for the Worst

I miss the luxury of enduring her smirk,
Confident in all the magic she worked.

Conversation, serene.
Expected to wake from dream.
But reality was all it seemed.

My present was the best,
As I planned for the very worst,

I wish you hadda told me first,

Before I assumed otherwise,
And doomed 'us' to our demise,

Is this my lesson or my fate?
Angel of Death,
Standing at my love's gate.

Not to kill me, and neither you.
Only what could have been,

Here lies True.

Quiet in the Night; Light in the Darkness

But now I'm not with you,
Do you still care?
Looking through your pictures,
Do you still stare?

Telling myself 'moving on is all that I can do'.
Then again, I still don't understand you.

You make me write when I have the words.
Of the days, we shared the same soul urge.

I wish it was 'happily ever after'.
I wonder did 'we' even matter.

Well clearly, it does to me, and secretly,
You're all that I want to see.

Melancholy,
Scared of unreciprocate,
Shuffling lies,
The truth always hits me late.

I long for you, and me to be,

In the cards.
What dreams may come to those chasing,
Shooting stars...

And what happens when you catch one?

Reminiscing on being within your hand's touch.

Or Maybe

Maybe it's hard to get by.
Or maybe it's just in my mind.
Keep my head in the clouds,
...just maybe I'll be fine.