Blank Pages

The most important book I have,
Is this with blank pages.

Words inside, for all the ages.

To release what's inside to come to terms,

I wonder if I'll ever learn?

Maybe it will never matter,
Hell, I'm here,

All I can do is be sincere.

Status, ranking, hierarchy.

Divisions, classes, compart-me.

Like trying to dissect a rainbow,
Is purple trying to war against the yellow.

None more superior, but who's to judge?

But the blues and the indigos wont budge.

Why war when harmony is natural,
We should rock instead of trying to be statues.

My Own Words

You just never know.
Until you experience for yourself.
Then you can't say it.

So many words.

I have my own songs.

I will sing them.

It is this, I must.

I cannot silence.

Fire must burn.

Just as water must wet.

So I must write.

I want calm.
But the inferno rages.

The tempest grows unruly.

That's the worst thing about being on fire.

It takes someone special to touch you.

I need to focus the light into heat.

Having too many focuses diminishes clarity.

Just unsure of what to focus on anymore.

I just don't know.

What do I do with all this power?

Where can I let this go?

Accept

People are the same...

We have different stories.

Days blur together.

Who remembers?

Believe in lies.

People will still be people,

No use in judging,
We all live.
The world keeps turning.
Maybe bliss is the only stillness,
Or the ultimate.

In the Distance

Sometimes I laugh at myself,
I keep asking all these questions,

I'm compelled to do so,
But to what end?

Hahaha there's another question.
I suppose its just my nature.

I wonder if the answers will matter,
As much as the question did.
I don't know much of anything.

I may never know much of anything.

I think the trick is, making sure that...

One day at least, I'm ok with that.

When will life not be like this?
What should I expect?

Maybe I think too much,

I cannot say that I know what I want,
Except to understand my options.

I just want to go...
Somewhere...

Maybe where I can love and be loved,
Freely,
And unconditionally.

I find I have to fight for conditional love,
Then I realize,
That it was a waste of time.

Just want to feel what's real,
And not a temporary,
Substitute.

My Way

Delving into self-examination,
Self-actualization,
All talents are byproducts of lifestyle,

Maybe I'm parroting.

These words are not empty.

It seems this is my life and path,
To express myself on my behalf,

Protected from myself, And others,
Patterns made clear.

Maybe I can discover me,
Because I cannot discover "here",

That may be why I'm the only one,
Perhaps therein lies the fun...

Maybe I need a means of,
Providing theory with practice.

Practice refines theory,
Theory refines practice.

Where are my words?
My experiences?

What do I believe?
When I trust my instincts,
How can I be me?
Completely be, all of me?
Unapologetically,
But neither disrespectfully,

Sometimes life takes a little while,

At the end of the day I gotta do it my way,

I just need to understand my options,
What is walking this way, going to cost us?

The price of being me,
Honestly, how can I see?
When I dont know what to look for?

As long as I can accept.
Accept all I see.

Whether outward or subconsciously,

I am not an island.
I am meteor that floats in space.
Nor orbit to call my place.

And in that I'm free,
Wandering actually,
And all I get to see,
Floating by.

Everybody Swears

So many thoughts.
We need change within the people,
A game begins in my mind, the moment I see you.

It's in my nature to be vulnerable and expressive,
However, when I see you I retract and repress it.

Because life taught me how,

No reverence for human life, now.

I wouldn't say its that extreme,
I dream that love is everything the songs make it seem.

After which, I wonder if its all in our minds,
Fire burns on the frozen tundra that's inside.

Egos perpetuate,
Pride causing civil war,

Child support bombs blazing,
Daddy called Mommy "whore".

Or "slut-tramp-bitch",
"How the hell she gone tell my son that I aint shit?"

We see what we want,
It seems like it never ends,

But everybody swears they know what love is...

Love Unstructured

Chaos rubs the back of my head,
Before she slowly embraces me...

We hover,
We ascend,
We float into the tempestuous sky...

I whisper "help me let go, I can't live a lie"

She kisses my ear and sucks on my neck,
I open my eyes...
The earth underneath,
Is spinning,

No time, no end, no beginning...

I breathe in her scent,
The embers and aether,
She holds me close,
I gaze down beneath her.

She drives me to question all I thought I knew,

I do,
Not fear her and her power,
I ride the wave,
Allow myself to feel,
So I can be saved...

Saved from form,
Madness made mundane.

Assimilate chaos,
Formless and without pain.

Behold the Flowers

Even in distance, you are the ever closest glimpse of love...

Deep in the thorns and thistles, resides a rose.

I reach for you, though my life's blood I lose with sharp pains...

I think that...
I know it's not worth it,

How could it be?!!

I reach for empty beauty,
(Haha) My own desire hurteth me, however ironically...

Life leaks from vains,
All for vanity...

Only my reflection knows the answer.

We stare as if we know,
But we don't talk much,

I guess everyone has blemishes.
The very trees grow crooked.

When will it be enough to grow together?

Am I in awe of the wrong flowers?

Is it that my eyes forever behold, mine own pain?

It must be better to gaze into fire,
And the dancing seas,

Than to behold the flowers,
Amongst the trees...

No Gills

Show me the pool,
So I can delve in imaginings,

Sinking and floating,

Just enough to come up for air...

...sometimes I wonder...

Who needs air?

For now, I'll hold my breath,

Until I start seeing things...