The Smell of Her Hair

Light sleep, vibrating alarm rings.
She turns over, rubs my face.
"Will you stay with me?"

Why argue?
Reach out and hold-in-darkness just a little longer,

She holds my hand and breathes,

Then my thoughts begin to wander,

This is good cause she loves me now,
Just wants to be held, and told shes loved aloud.

I laugh to myself, cause she blind that,
She uses me.
I wish I could trust you, your,
Discontent abuses me.

Only concerned with power and control,
Insecure,
"Everyone should love me!"
But she knows they don't,

Maybe I judge you to protect myself...
Maybe I know when you leave me,
There will be somebody else.

I need this to be exclusive.
Why am I attracted to someone that's so elusive?

You're all I want when you're actually there,
But when you're gone you don't even care,
You can't be thinking about me...
When you're lying there,
And in some other man's eyes you stare,

Intellectual,
Expressive 'specially emotionally,
Warm to the touch, damn near nurturing.

Girl tryna save a world she knows she can't.
Just like I want to save a girl I know I can't.

Maybe I need to learn to let it be,
Cause she's breathing quiet, still lying here with me.

The smell of her hair, breathing in the moment,
She's here now.
So don't worry, I'm on it.

Overcast

Maybe for me it's never meant to be.

The ones that helped,
Can no longer relate to me.

I fell in love,
Because you showed me myself,

But am I narcissistic or will I truly love somebody else?

It's not easy being me (I smile),
But in the end, its the best view that I can see,

That's perspective for your ass!
Shattered mirrors,
Broken glass.

I've no need to wear a mask,
The truth heals...
At last.

Fragmented Souls

A lot of women fall in love with their,
Psychologist.

Some to listen to them, help them with the knowledge,
To just,

Get past issues,
Fix their fragmented souls,

Never judging their demons,
Keeping secrets, talking alone.

"Baby, I can't do that with you, because I do this,
You're my client and you signed the papers..."

"We can talk in my office,
Not on personal phones,

If this behavior continues,
We can't be left alone,

Look, I can't do this.
I'll refer you to somebody else.

They can help you with issues,
Help you dust your shelves,

Of old memories,
Pains, abandonments,
Penitentiaries...

I can't give you want you want me to,
I get some type of fulfillment from helping you,

But my life has nothing to do with yours,
I'm just here to listen,
I can't tell you about me,
I'm paid to pay attention,

No one knows you like me?
Then you need some new friends,

Because we could never,
Be.

You feel the healing,
And emotions are true,
But you have to back away,
There is no 'me and you'."

Old Pictures

Hmmm,
Been a long time I said your name.

I wonder if you can hear me through this page?

I remember when you were the only thing that mattered.

Was it the other girls that led us different patterns?

Never before had I felt so accepted,

Custom-made relationship, rejected.

Was it because I pushed you away,
Pressured with feelings?

Was it this other guy,
Who turned clear skies to ceilings?

Its crazy cause now we don't even talk.
Like neither of us existed,

like you were never there...

And I look at old pictures,
And tell myself I don't even care.

Part of me wishes we worked it out.
Regretable,
I suppose we're on different paths,
A Queen,
To me without a doubt,
Conditional-me is not the love that matters,

So how can I find peace off you?

Understanding is what I do.

Mine Judgment

What did you do,
To deserve my judgment?
My criticism of you?

What evil deed was done?
Something you didn't do?
Why must you face my wrath?

Do you even have a clue?

Do you know why you're in pain?
Why you will feel my rage?

You've gone too far this time,
No chance left to be saved.

So mirror on the wall,
Within you know the truth,
The man that's trapped within you,
Mine judgment shall not loose.

All I Know As Truth

What shall I believe in?

What truth rings true to me?
What shall I hold in my heart?
What runs like blood within me?

I ponder all these systems,
Religions, laws, and wars,
They've never worked for me,
Just a forest blocked by doors.

But no building.

So I ask why?

Where is that special feeling?
Not here, why should I lie?

I've paid my dues,
I've sought to search,

I came to find the truth,

But all I found were men behind the curtain,
With shiny suits,

Saying, 'don't tell,
But who would ever believe you?

What we do is real,
It is you, that we can see through.'

So in my solitude I ask,
'What's real and what's for sale?'

I dream that reality will kindly,
Riddle me the tale.

All I know as truth,

Is what I see and express,
Respect for other visions has been my,
Earthly test,

All I've known and see,
Added color to my canvas true,
Appreciate my own Masterpiece,
Is what I'll learn to do,

I'll listen to my own music,
My answers reverberate inside,
And lift my voice for my song,
To sing 'I am alive'

With Love That's True

I'm more in love with your idea,
Than I am with you.
Idea's shit don't stink,
But oh do you!

Go away from me,
So I can fantasize about you in my mind!
Don't smother me,
So I can wonder about you all the time...

Don't ever tell me how you feel,
So I can make a guess,
Never reveal the answer!
I'll be most impressed!

Instead of being imperfect and,
Hold me with love that's true,
Just chase some other love,
So I can fall in love, with you.